I like the image of this, and the theme. It reminds me of old style fables, like Aesop. I read a few of his fables (not just the tortoise and the hare ) and a lot of them were written in a style very similar to this piece.

Thanks for the feedback once more, this one is a personal favorite. Im not too familiar with Aesop, all i know is that we apparently have one thing in common, we are both Greek. Other than that, i want to know what do you think the story represents, or what is the moral to be learnt in your eyes. It is greatly appreciated.

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Volition... Now... [link]

To me, the moral of the story is that you have to look at the big picture. If you focus on the unimportant details, the important things will never get finished..

yeah tahts pretty much what i was going for, i wrote it with this basic outline; the old man represents life in its final stages, in a way lost youth as well as old age. The rake was perspective, it is what guided the mans life, his ambition and drive. The leaf reprents a single goal in life, a single idea. The pile represents the big picture, the oter things in life that are often forgotten and reresent a goal or achievement in life individually. The bag is inevitability, or death. The bag represents all of your accomplishments and your overall regrets. By focusing on one aspiration, we often forget that there are other aspects in life which we must fufill in order to truly be complete. Sadly, many people dont realize this until it is too late and like the old man, spend all their life with a narrow perspective and when they realize it, their time is up. Life is too short to live in monotony, for monotony only leads to regret on your death bed. Pretty much it.

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Volition... Now... [link]

Hey, guess what? I told ur story to someone cos the advice fitted the situation. Kinda funny how the timing was for that ^_^ I read this story, then a few days later someone else around me needs to hear it ..

thats the best news ive ever heard... and it means that what im writing has an element of universal apeal and is a big step foward as my writing progresses. Thank you for sharing that, it has made me feel understood and knowing that in some aspect my story applied to someones life, well its enough to get me to sleep at night.

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Volition... Now... [link]

While reading this I found myself wishing he would just bend down and pick up the damn leaf. I really love the imagery, especially in the begging. "they fell one by one into their separate places"... it's my favorite line. It perfectly lays out the slow rythm of sitting by the window and watching the leaves fall in the front yard.

well thank you very much for the comment, im very glad you enjoyed it. I suppose picking up the leaf would have been a simpler alternative, heh, but im sure it wouldnt have played well with the moral of the story. the feedback though is greatly appreciated.

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Volition... Now... [link]